I DON'T WAIT ANYMORE

A friend of mine sent this article to me, and it encouraged me so much that I wanted to pass it along to all of my lovely, single friends! I hope it challenges, and blesses you, as it did me!

I DON’T WAIT ANYMORE.

Posted by gracefortheroad in The MercyFebruary 3, 2012

When I was 16, I got a purity ring.

And when I was 25, I took it off.

I didn’t tell anyone I was doing it — it wasn’t a statement or an emotional thing. I just slipped it off my finger that day and, before tucking it away in a box, ran my finger around the words on the familiar gold band.

“True Love Waits.” Waits.

What’s it “waiting” for, anyway?

*****

I had my reasons for deciding not to wear it anymore. Other people might have other reasons. It’s a graveyard of hearts, this place where single church girls crash into their late 20s and early 30s. Churches see the symptoms. They scramble to reach out to the ever-growing young adult singles crowd who feels alienated by family-oriented services.

But there’s something bigger behind it than that.

Much bigger.

There are a lot of girls out there who don’t know who God is anymore – the God of their youth group years just isn’t working out. Back then, that God said to wait for sex until they are married, until He brings the right man along for a husband. They signed a card and put it on the altar and pledged to wait.

And wait they did.

*****

And waited and waited and waited.

Some of them have prayed their whole lives for a husband, and he hasn’t shown up. They’ve heard the advice to “be the woman God made you to be, focus on that, and then the husband will come.” They’ve read “Lady in Waiting,” gotten super involved in church and honed their domestic skills.

And still they wait.

More than a decade ago, a youth leader handed them a photocopied poem in Sunday School written to them from “God” that said, “The reason you don’t have anyone yet is because you’re not fully satisfied in Me. You have to be satisfied with Me and then when you least expect it, I’ll bring you the person I meant for you.”

And the girls see it posted on their bulletin boards from time to time.

“You’re right, God,” they say. “We’re not satisfied in you yet. We will put you first and then you can bring us a husband in your timing.”

But many of them – if they’re honest – will tell you that time has passed, and it’s wrecking their view of God.

If this is who God’s supposed to be, then He’s tragically late.

So some decide to chuck “Lady in Waiting” out the window … and possibly their virginity with it. Church goes next. God might go next, too. If He doesn’t answer these prayers after they’ve held up their end of the bargain, why would He answer any others?

Whether it was the fault of the leaders, the fault of us girls, or both, a tragedy happened back then.

A lot of girls were sold on a deal and not on a Savior.

*****

I had that poem on my bulletin board all through high school – the one where “God” was telling me to fall in love with Him first and then I would be able to fall in love with a husband later.

Who wrote that poem anyway?

Pretty sure it wasn’t God.

When Jesus was here on the earth, the crowds would follow Him because they saw He gave good things. But that’s not what He wanted. He wanted their hearts for Himself. So He would turn to them and say things like, “If you don’t love Me so much that every other relationship in your life looks like hate by comparison, you can’t follow Me.” (Matthew 10:34-39, paraphrase)

That sounds a lot different from the poem.

Christ is the source of everything we need and the giver of all good gifts … but in telling people about Him, it’s possible we’ve sold them on a solution for life’s problems and not life itself.

What if we as girls had learned early on that having Him was everything, not a means to the life we think He would want us to have.

If we had learned we don’t abstain from sex because we’re “waiting.” We abstain because we love Him.

If I’d had on my bulletin board, “Fall in love with Jesus.” That’s it. Bottom line. That’s everything you need to know, to work toward, to put your hope in.

If I’d learned who He is, what He wants, how to give Him everything, not “wait” so that one day I could give my everything to someone else.

If I’d learned that it’s not bad to pray for a husband, but that my greater prayer should be for Him to spend my life as He chooses for His glory.

If we as believers make that our message, things could be drastically different for a lot of girls wondering why the God they think they learned to follow doesn’t compute. It doesn’t necessarily stop the desire for a husband or end all feelings of loneliness, but it does show a God who provides, loves and gives infinite purpose even to our singleness rather than a God who categorically denies some who pray for husbands while seemingly giving freely to others.

It shows that while marriage is good, He is the greater goal.

*****

Don’t think I’ve done this perfectly.

I’d be deceiving you if you thought that. I’ve had relationships where I made major mistakes. I’ve gone through angst-ridden phases where I met with friends to plead together with God to bring us husbands. I’ve planned major life decisions around possibilities.

I lived like I was waiting for something.

And that’s why I slipped off my ring that day. It wasn’t that I wanted to sleep with people – I haven’t. It wasn’t a slap to True Love Waits, or to anyone who wears a purity ring – saving sex for marriage is good and is His design.

I just didn’t want to wait anymore – didn’t want to live like I was waiting on anyone to get here.

I already have Him … and He is everything.

“Follow Christ for His own sake, if you follow Him at all.” – J.C. Ryle

Now More Than Ever.....

I have been thinking about this for sometime now, and then I heard this song again, and it totally summed up my feelings.
 My relationship with the Lord began when I was five years old. As a child, I didn't have a whole lot of understanding about what it meant to be follow Christ, I just knew the basics of the gospel, and believed with a child-like faith. But then I started growing up, and things got bumpy. Life wasn't as smooth as it was when I  was a kid. There were bigger problems to face, and important decisions to make; ones that would effect the rest of my life. And the longer I live, the more I realize how corrupt my own heart really is, and how much I really need a Savior! It's through all these experiences, that I now cherish my relationship with the Lord more and more. I know now how much I truly need Him, everyday, for everything!
 I love this song, because It really is true.....Now more than ever, I cherish the Cross! I am so thankful for my Jesus, and His loving-kindness to me!

"New York, New York....."

Last month, my Dad, sister, and I went to NYC for a visit. I have an older sister who lives in Manhattan, so we stayed with her for the weekend. Maryanna and I had never been, and it was quite an experience! Of course, I am a country girl who has never lived in the city, so being in NYC was a bit of a culture shock. But I have to say......I loved it! :) I don't think I would want to live there, mind you, but I certainly enjoyed my visit. There is no down time, that's for sure. :)

The highlight of our trip was seeing Phantom of The Opera on Broadway!!!! Basically, I am still in raptures! I absolutely loved it!! I have wanted to see it for years, and I finally got my wish. *Happy Sigh* Now I am completely hooked on Broadway,(if I wasn't already) and keep coming up with schemes of going back very soon to see another show. :) 

                                                             

 Here are a few of the pictures we took, just to give you a little peak into our time there. I really didn't take that many, as I was too busy taking it all in to snap pictures. :) I guess I'm not a good photographer. 

Riding in a taxi for the first time! :)

Checking out the big city

Looking down the street

Ice Cream Sundae at the popular Serendipity . That thing was wicked!  Pretty much, I still have dreams about it. :)

"On the avenue...."

Subway station

view from Battery Park

Time Square.....where it all happens. :)

Dressed up for the Opera. 

                                       

No, I haven't dropped off the face of the earth! :)

Hello my friends,
 I know it has been forever since I have posted anything on here, so I figured it was high time I updated you all on what's happening in my life right now. :)

 The reason that I have been so negligent in blogging, is that I started college in January, and am being very studious, therefore; I have precious little time for this sort of thing these days. :) I am a student of Trinity School of Natural Health. Thankfully, I am able to study from home, which is a great blessing. I am studying to become a Naturopath! I am so excited about this, as it's something I've been interested in for a long time! It is pretty much self-paced, so I have to be very diligent, and disciplined about making sure I am getting in plenty of study hours. I have five years to complete the degree, as it's a pretty in depth field, but I am hoping to finish it in half that time. I don't want to be in school for the next five years! :) So far, it's going very well. As a matter of fact, I am waiting to get the scores back from an exam right now. :) It's all new for me, the whole college thing. :)

 In addition to starting college, I have gotten a new job since last blogging. It was such an answer to prayer! I really wanted to start school, but I knew that unless I got another job, I wouldn't be able to afford the tuition. The Lord was gracious in providing me with a great job, that I really enjoy. I work for Clean Cut Image Lawn & Landscaping. I don't do the landscaping though. I am a personal assistant. :) It's great because it's a husband and wife who own the company, and they are sweet Christians. I am a personal assistant to the wife. She runs the business side of things. I love working for them! So, between school and work, it's a very busy season right now, for which I am thankful. :) I like to stay busy! I am learning alot about Naturopathy, and Holistic medicine, and really enjoying it too! And I enjoy my job, so life is good. :)

I have done zero sewing since I've gotten so busy. I should really change the name of my blog, since I don't think I will be doing much of it for a while. :) I will try to update my blog more often though. :) Soon I want to put some pictures up from my recent trip to NYC. I went to visit my sister who lives in Manhattan. Here's one to give you a little hint. More on that to come....... :)

One Thousand Gifts

 
 In the mornings, after devotions, the ladies in my family are reading a book called - One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to LIVE FULLY Right where you are, by Ann Voskamp.

We are only about 5 chapters into it, but so far, it is amazing! I have been so challenged by what we have read already. It is much to deep for me to try to explain here, so just get the book and read it. :) The title of the book comes from a list the author was challenged to make; one thousand things you are thankful for. Which brings me to the reason for this post. I have started my own list, in an effort to learn the language of thankfulness. Don't worry, I am not going to put one thousand things here for you to read, I haven't even made it half way to that number. But I want to challenge all of you to at least ponder all the blessings of everyday life that we often overlook. The things that we take for granted, but would miss terribly if God had not given them to us. And maybe, just maybe, you might want to start a list of your own. :)

 Ann's list was very specific. She included all the "little things", the simple pleasures in life, as well as the big ones.

 So, here is the beginnings of my list. It's not in order,or anything so organized as that. I just wrote as the thoughts came to me.

 Bare feet on soft grass
The smell of homemade bread baking
 Blue; the color of my cool, inviting bedroom
 Laughter ringing through the house
 Long, quiet conversations with the love of my life, Jesus.
 Dad's strong, work-worn hands
 Love; so amazing, so divine
 Wearing flip-flops with my toes painted 
 Long, personal conversations with my best friends
 Sunny, yellow daffodils 
 Blue sky with no clouds in sight
 Long, rich brown hair
 Mom's ever-ready advice
 Little sisters who love you no matter what
 Big, dark brown eyes
 Doing chores and singing my heart out
 Music filling my soul

 Well, that's all I'll share for now. I hope this has encouraged you to learn that language of  Eucharisteo, life filling gratitude.  Start your list today. Believe me, it will make you smile! :)

"This Life Is Not About Finding The Perfect Guy And Getting Married."

Hello everyone,

 I heard this testimony a couple weeks ago, and it so challenged me that I asked if I could put it up on my blog. This is such a good reminder for all of us single ladies who are striving to honor the Lord during this season of our lives. I was challenged and encouraged to not compromise, no matter what comes my way. I hope it encourages you too.

 

"I grew up in a Christian home & was saved at an early age. My family has always had conservative views on dress, media and guy/girl relationships. Early on I took hold of those same views for myself. I was very reserved in my interactions with young men and dressed modestly.

At age 18, I began a courtship that ended 10 months later. The hurt and disappointment from that relationship caused me to head down a different path…one that in my pride, I thought I would never take. Here are four things that changed in my thinking…

1) Modesty no longer mattered as much – I look back now and regret how I must have caused the men around me to stumble.

Ladies, I want to challenge you with something – Is it really worth it? Do we really want the men in our life to have to fight to keep their eyes up on our faces? Do we really want them to have to struggle in church to keep their mind on Christ and off of our bodies? Please take some time to examine your own heat & wardrobe. Make sure you are honoring both God & man with your clothing.

2) Flirting no longer seemed off limits - I was no longer guarded in my interactions with guys in person or on-line. Facebook chats with young men became more and more frequent. Emails got more and more personal. Texts and phone calls were no longer just for coordinating church functions and informational purposes. Also, my body language changed…and it spoke plenty.

Please hear this – flirting is like playing with fire. It’s not worth it. You will get burned. Also, if you have a Facebook, I would encourage you to give your parents your password. It helps hold you accountable. If you can, don’t even have guy “friends” on it! My family has a rule. Until you are 18, you cannot have any peers of the opposite gender as “friends” on your Facebook. Except for family members, of course. Even now, I stay offline to all of the young men on my Facebook. Please take the time to examine your interactions with young men in real life & online.

3) Guys being my best friends no longer seemed like a bad idea. All of the young men that I became close friends with are no longer my friends. We became too familiar and ended up in confusing, undefined relationships.

Let me say something radical – In almost every case, guys and girls cannot be “just close friends” and remain there. It either ends in marriage or an ended friendship. The latter is usually very awkward & painful. Please believe me when I say this. When I was younger, I did not believe those who said this to me. But they were right. You don’t have to learn the hard way. Please, take time to set safe boundaries for yourself.

4) I believed that my previous boundaries and reservations might be the reason for me still being single.

But listen to this, girls – if a young man does not respect your boundaries and pressures you to compromise any of them, he is not the kind of young man you want to associate with. If you were to marry such a man, he would only continue to disrespect you and pressure you to lower your standards in other areas of your life.

All of these compromises in my life led to a lot of confusion, heartache and trouble. Several unwise flirtations and another broken relationship later – I woke up. I finally understood that the way I had been living was not God’s best for me. The way I was treating guys did not honor God, me or the young men. I finally saw the need to truly be under my parents protection. I had believed the lie that my earthly parents could ruin my chance at marriage, and in doing so, I believed that my parents had more power over my life than God.

Let me say that again – If you believe that your parents can ruin your chance at marriage, then you are believing that they are more powerful than God.

Let that sink in… Do you REALLY believe that they have more power than GOD?! Can any person thwart God’s plan for your life?! NO! But, believe me, it’s not worth it to lower your standards. In His mercy He protected me from losing more of myself than I did. Praise God! I give Him all the glory, because if it wasn’t for Him, I would still be deep in darkness. I am so grateful that He has brought me full circle.

Imagine this with me…

There is a nation. This nation belongs to God. Its boundaries are clearly defined and they follow God’s word. This nation also has an enemy. This enemy wants to come in, take over and destroy this nation from the inside out. So, the enemy sends its people to sneak in and settle. Their orders are to build homes, plant gardens, multiply and spread out. At first the citizens of this land are resistant to the enemy, but because they don’t push them out immediately, they become comfortable with them being there.

So gradually, the enemy spreads out and occupies more and more land, as well as influences the citizens with its pagan ways. Slowly, but surely, the once Godly nation loses its identity…it no longer looks different from the rest of the world. It loses its influence for good. The people are miserable and enslaved to sin. You see, the boundaries were not there to trap or enslave the citizens! They were there to protect the citizens and their identity as God’s people. The boundaries gave them the freedom to thrive and grow without threat or distraction, but they slowly gave it away.

Now, close your eyes and put yourself in the story…

Jesus has saved you, chosen you for His own. You belong to God. God has clearly spelled out your boundaries in His word. But, You have an enemy, Satan. This enemy wants to take over and destroy your life. So, he tempts you with little compromises. An immodest top, a chat with a guy that you like, an opportunity to flirt, a bad movie. At first you feel a little guilty. But, because you don’t resist, you become comfortable with your sin. Gradually, those things no longer bother you. And things that used to seem terrible to you are no longer a big deal.

Slowly, but surely, you blend in with the rest of the world. You no longer look set apart. You lose your identity and influence for good. You are miserable and enslaved to your sin and the world. Flirting with the world and tempting it to come in and possess land is dangerous business! You see, the boundaries were there to protect you. They were there to give you the freedom to thrive and grow in the Lord without distraction…but slowly, you gave it away. And what for? Was it worth it?

Ponder your for a moment….now, open your eyes. What did you see? Do you think these stories are what God really desires for us?

Now, please, do not let these stories discourage you! I for one am living proof that there is hope. If you have given over territory to the enemy, it is not too late to take it back. Sit down with your parents and discus what safe boundaries are for you.

And if this story does not describe you yet, please don’t let it ever! Set clear boundaries NOW! Do not allow the enemy to occupy any of your territory. Once your boundaries are determined, use the safety and freedom that they provide to grow and thrive in your walk with God.

Matthew 6:33 says, “See first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

This life is not about finding the perfect guy and getting married.

It’s about seeking first God’s kingdom and His righteousness!

It’s about being set-apart and it’s about reflecting Christ in ALL areas of our life!"

"Chick-fil-a, I could eat there seven times a day.." :)

Today the my nieces had off school, so I took them to Chick-fil-a for a special treat. We had fun taking pictures, and I thought you might like to see some of them. :)

We had beautiful weather today! After we got back from Chick-fil-a, we went on a long bike ride. We've had some fun bonding times while I've been visiting. :)